TEN THINGS YOU MUST NOT DO WITH YOUR CHILD!!!

TEN THINGS YOU MUST NOT DO WITH YOUR CHILD

1. Screaming 

Some say its worst than beating, and leaves one with long-term mental and emotional scars. Remember, the Prophet ‎ﷺ never raised his voice on a #child, women, a friend or otherwise.

2. Blaming

Blaming weakens relations, lowers self-esteem and prompts children to be on the defense, even when they haven’t done something wrong. Anas b. Malik, then a 10 year old child, said: “I served the Prophet ‎ﷺ for nine years. He never said about anything I did, why I did that, or about anything I didn’t do, why didn’t you.”

3. Nonstop Orders

Orders and instructions, without without first convincing or persuading, turn the child into a robot and this is not healthy. When growing up, they blindly emulate and obey any authority, regardless of its values. 

4. Threatening

Threatening is used because it’s a quick fix for resistance, but not a solution in the long run. Any attitude driven by [just] fear is hypocritical, and does not indicate real change.

5. Sarcasm 

Making fun of a child is an unacceptable behavior in Islam: “O you who believe let not a group scoff at another group… “(49:11). Mocking a child hurts their sense of worth and self-esteem. 

6. Cursing 

Cursing teaches the child cursing, which he will use against others, including relatives, friends and parents. The hadith says: “A believer is never a defamer nor a curser nor coarse nor obscene.”

7. Comparing

Never compare your child to anyone, especially siblings. Comparing creates jealousy, anger and [puts them] on the defense. 

8. Continuous Advising

The normal attention span is 3 to 5 minutes per year of a child’s age. Therefore, a 2-year-old should be able to concentrate on a particular task for at least 6 minutes, and a child entering kindergarten should be able to concentrate for at least 15 minutes. In the hadith “The Prophet used to take care of us by preaching during [some] days [and not others] fearing that we may get bored.” 

9. Mistrust 

Not giving the child the benefit of doubt weakness mutual trust, shuts frank communication and hurts self-confidence.

10. Beating 

In most cases, beating a child is about parents venting anger than wisely and calmly wanting to improve a behavior. Beating, similar to a pain killer, is a temporary fix, not a cure. It creates a coward personality, which will continue to do bad things as long as “nobody is watching”.

Dr. Hesham Al-Awadi, author of "Children Around the Prophet: How Muhammad ‎ﷺ Raised the Young Companions"